Why?

I finished my first marathon June 18th, 2011 with the slow but steady time of 4 hours 48 minutes and 26 seconds. Sometime during the following days as I was gingerly walking around and sleeping as much as possible, my mother asked me if I felt the need to do another one. With the memory fresh in my mind I casually said "oh I don't think so, not for a while at least, maybe a half marathon next year." She was relieved and confided that she didn't think it was all that healthy for me to push my body so hard. A week after running 26.2 miles I was climbing up Bird Ridge, a couple days later I was up Flattop, then running partway up Wolverine peak, and then climbing Mt. Marathon to cheer on my siblings Allen and Joyce as they raced on July 4th. I wasn't slowing down. I was relishing in seeing how hard and how far I could go. I had very casually lied to my mom and myself. And I had my second triathlon coming up on July 16th.

The thought of doing an Ironman had already entered into my head after my first triathlon, the Gold Nugget. I'd signed up on a whim. I trained marginally for the swim and bike portions. I'd been participating in a bicycle challenge all of April. "Freeze your keys" where you vowed to not drive your car and bike as much as possible. This is Alaska. It was still snowy/slushy/icy. But I did it. So I was in reasonable biking shape going into the triathlon but my bike was certainly not. A 1998 Mongoose Switchback with mountain bike tires, comfort mustache style handle bars and not to mention a fraction too small. Despite this however I rocked the bike, swam well (I learned to swim as a toddler) and didn't humiliate myself on the run. (I think I've mentioned I'm not very fast.) I was in love with the new sport. Was there another one I could sign up for? I started thinking about my budget. Could I afford a new bike? Alas, the Eagle River tri was already full by the time I realized it wouldn't really interfere with my marathon. But there was this off-road triathlon in July, could I mountain bike 13 miles? I don't like mountain biking. Sure! Sign me up. It will give me a goal to work towards after the marathon. And all the while I'm thinking about the ultimate triathlon challenge. Ironman.

I read 3 books on it in less than 2 weeks. I analyzed race courses, race dates, training programs. I consumed as much as I could.

And then I told mom.

She wasn't ecstatic.

It was a few weeks later before we talked about it again. She asked if I was happy. If training made me happy.

It does.

I get sore. I get blisters. My knees and hips hurt. I get frustrated and angry if I miss a workout. But challenging myself to get better....to do something most people don't do...to find out just how much I can do...how far can I go...that makes me happy.

The off-road triathlon "XTERRA Hammerman" at Kincaid park came and went. It was hard. It was exhilarating. It was fun.

Why am I doing an Ironman?

Because I spent years sitting on the couch. Years being fat and lazy. (In 2007 I weighed 208 lbs) Years watching other people run fast, run hard, run long and secretly wishing it was me.

I'm not fast. I never will be. I will never win a race. Never set a course record. But I can still run hard and long. I can bike hard and long and I can swim hard and long.

And doing that makes me happy.

If you never challenge yourself, how will you know what you are capable of doing?


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I do my third triathlon tomorrow, in Homer. My mom is coming with me. I'm looking forward to sharing my joy with her.